I don't want to teach anymore.

I can't take this disrespect. The pure unadultared disregard of human decency. These kids just don't care. They don't want to learn. They don't want to be here. The one or two souls that actually want to better their lives are tainted by the bureaucracy who will not realize that once they reach a certain point, things go downhill, and the snowball effect starts to begin. I really do love the act of teaching. I love the thought of helping the future of America. I love the idea of one lost soul coming back to the metaphorical flock because of something that I taught them about verbs and nouns.

But in retrospect I have yet to see any results. I can reach one or two kids and see a result in their education, but once they get back to their regular school, they fall apart again. And they sometimes fail by the hypocrisy of teachers, like myself who sometimes judge kids before we get the initial oppurtunity to actually meet the student. We set up mental walls as to what a student is going to be like just by reading their IEP. I am tired of myself. I'm tired of these kids who would rather get suspended than to stop talking about whatever 'game' their 'reppin''. Blood, crips, MS 13s, Sur 13s and Pirus have taken the place of family units in alot of these kids minds. The streets have became their homes. Guns have become their blanket of protection, while drugs are their glass of milk before bed.

I don't know how else to reach these kids. You can't be nice to them because they'll run you over. If you are too strict, they will revolt because you're not nice. There is no happy medium. You're either the mean teacher, or the "easy" that you can do whatever in their class. I don't want to be either. I want to be the teacher who makes students learn. I want to be the teacher who makes the metaphorical light bulb flicker on. But what good would it do?